Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:42 PM

There's only one word to describe my temper.
FOUL.

No, it isnt the premenstrual symptoms.
I dont have that either when im having my menses. Or anything of that sort.
You could ask my boyfriend or rina. They know me best.
But today's exceptionally rare to even know that my temper's foul.

I felt a huge urge to just grab someone by the hair
and give them a boot at their face and stick my levi stick in their eyes.
Seriously i cant help it.
I bet ille be feeling like this for the next few days.
But not to my boyfriend or my lovelies.

God hates me so much doesnt he?
Oh wait, there is a God?
Oh wow. Thanks for making my life hell.
Throw me to hell wont you? I'd appreciate it.

Shut the fuck up.
_|_ v,v

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:20 PM

Currently at Changi Airport with Rina and Wan.
My left jaw hurts like a bitch.
I tried eating some shaker fries just now at Tamp and all i got was pain.
I cant munch. I cant clamp my jaw shut.
It was a-ok in the morning, but now it just hurts like a bitch.
Shit ass.

There's alot of mamzies here right now.
I wonder what's the occasion?
Hmmm.

Im freezing at Gloria Jeans.
Being the usual silly me, ive decided to wear my
hotpants with a short sleeved shirt. How i regret it.

I miss Chris so much i just donnoe how to express it.
No words could describe it.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 5:18 PM

I felt a tad better just now.
You took the effort to come over just to see me.
I miss lying on your lap and i did just now.
I miss your hugs and i hugged you tight just now.
I miss your kisses and i got to give you pecks just now.

Its not enough for me to just be with you for a little while,
but sometimes you just gotta bear with it and sacrifice a little.

Thanks baby for your words and for taking the effort to meet me today.
It meant alot to me.
I love you

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 10:50 PM

I spent the whole day at home today cleaning up the house.
Ive been lying on my bed like a cripple with nothing to do.
I would be glad if the walls could talk.
But no, that isnt gonna happen.

How i wish im in a school.
At least i could occupy myself with school work and not feel empty.
Even if im doing my art, i would still feel alone.
Well, cuz i am alone.

I dont even think im going out for the next few days.
There's nowhere to go. So whats the point?
Suddenly, im feeling feverish.
I seriously dont know whats going on.
I hate feeling like this.

Someday, ille be free.
Free from the world.
In a different place doing something good.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 6:24 PM

And yet again, i stood at the kitchen window.
Tears swelled in my eyes. A tear dropped from my left eye.
Something's coming. I have no idea what but something's coming.
Never have i had tears in my eyes and it drops from the left ferst.

So it's indicating something.

Boy i really do miss you alot.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 2:51 AM

I smelled evil in the air today.
Dont ask me how. I just do.

Nowadays, i actually despise going out.
Nowhere to go, noone to look forward to, cash tight.
Sometimes i wonder why im here, in this world.
Till now, i havent got any decent answer.

Im all alone in this house today.
Which makes me feel even more lonelier than before.
Sleepless nights, i endured. Flipping pages after pages of my book just to
make me feel sleepy. It works, but only for a few minutes.
I would fall asleep late but would wake up early in the morning.
I myself dont know whats the reason to it.

Ive been dealing with trepidation for quite awhile now.
I dont even know why.
Ive got this gift which some do not have.
What am i? Some kind of a Necromance?

It hasnt been happening for sometime.
Why now? Of all people, why me?
If i was a Magi, i wouldnt mind.
Cuz ille have Hell's upper crust with me as my guard.
But no. Im a normal human being. I guess.
Im tired of it.

With all this, im getting sick physically and mentally.

Well anyways, Guess tmr ille have to clean up the house.

:\

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:23 AM

I was looking forward to this monday.
But i guess it has to be postponed after all.
Im at the National Library now, just doing some research on my work.
Its just too quiet my ears are going crazy.

Mayb some other time.
Mayb this wednesday, or mayb the weekends or mayb next week.
I shall see you then.
xoxo.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 3:03 PM

Im a snail which has lost its shell.
Empty-ness surrounds. My thoughts are in a whirl.
Even though i have alot to pen down, nothing comes to mind.
Slowly, bit by bit, im fading away.

It took me half an hour just to list down those 4 sentences.

If i could rewind time, i would let it stop at the time
when i was still in sec school and let it repeat over and over again.
Even though im not schooling, my mind has been
preoccupied with art and stress due to the fact that i want to get myself
into NAFA next year under Fine Arts.

It has always been a dream for me to be a student there since Sec 1.
But i didnt get the chance to. Well actually, I had the chance but i blew it.
So now's the time to give my 100% and prepare my folio for next year.
It isnt too early for me to start now. In fact, i was supposed to start on it
early this year.



I finally had the chance to meet up with Syirr the other day at NAFA.
We had lunch with Alex and Louis too.
Bumped into Ehkwan there and hanged out for awhile.

NAFA's student lounge was heaven.
It really made me feel like as if i was supposed to be there.
Not the lounge, but the school. The atmosphere was full of adrenaline,
it makes me want to work harder and give my all just to be a student there.

That's how much i want to be enrolled.
Noone knows except for my mom.


There's only one thing that makes me pissed.
Barney girl. Please stop it before i do.
This patience is running thin.
Dont you get it?

Its your own fault for not treasuring whats yours until its over.
By then, its too late.
It gets me annoyed. Im about this close to exploding a Hiroshima.
So please. Get it in your head.
I suppose youre smart. Smarter than me of course.
So it should be in your brain by now.

This is out of the topic but i have to let it out.
I just counted the pimples on my face.
And i have at least 21 pimples on my face.
Well, im not that frantic over it yet.

It took me an hour to write my thoughts down.
What a failure i am.

I miss you baby dear.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:35 PM

I met up with my lovely girl this afternoon.
Being me, the super kiasu singaporean, i borrowed four thick books
by the same author all at once.
I hope my mind will be at ease after reading those.
My brain needs to breathe. It needs to be cleared of all the unwanted
stuffs that ive been thinking about lately.
It needs to be free and relaxed.

Actually, i went over to my mom's place in the morning before
meeting Rina.
& then, my nose started getting all runny.
It was during the time when she cooked lunch for me.
The smell of the chilli and onions was so intense, it hurt my nostrils.
Thus causing the runny nose.

After that, i went off to meet Rina.
Okay, before anything else, let me tell you something.
While i was walking up the stairs of an overhead bridge leading to the busstop,
there was a couple of CHIJ katong girls in front of me.
They looked harmless i swear.
But there's one thing that could kill me.
The Smell Of Their Feet.

I swear it was the most Mind boggling smell ever.
Sourish yet salty at the same time.
It was overpowering.
I made a big mistake by walking behind them.

Okay, forget about that.

Chilled around at Rina's place and i was like Rudolph the red nose reindeer.
My nose was itching and it was so annoying i had to scratch it.
Thats when my runny nose started again.
When it was time to make a move,
we chilled for a little while more under the void deck and started
talking bout studies, families, work and all.
It felt good to share all that with someone who thinks the same way.

I had fun today.
Meeting syirr in the late afternoon tmr.
I miss my boyfriend and i hope he has got the patience to deal with
school and all the projects that he has. Goodluck baby.
Ille see you tmr. Cant wait.

(:

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:08 AM

4 years back.


Im glad i got to meet up with my dearest boy today!
Finally caught the most anticipating movie of the month.
Its none other than Harry Potter.
Noone knows how much i am in love with that fictional show,
well, except for a few close friends, boyfriend and my family members.
hehehe.

Since it was my off day today, I went directly to Plaza Sing to meet
my dearest boy together with his new found mates.
Nice nice people. ^^
But we went off a.s.a.p due to the fact that we're catching the movie
at Downtown and we dont wanna be late!

I really had fun today with you.
Love spending my time with you.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
(:

Love you.
xoxo.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:43 PM

My mind's in the state of a great turmoil.
I feel mentally deranged. I need help.
I dont need depression again. Please.
It had always been me since when i was a child.
Why me? Why?

It got me thinking to a point when i couldnt even
think of anything else anymore.
When i looked at myself in the mirror, I felt degraded.
Im a failure.
A complete fool.

The only word to complete myself is,
No - Hoper.

Im a failure in
academics,
work,
what else then?

Everything is cooped up in my mind.
& i dare not even talk about it to anyone for fear
that ille ruin their moods.
It has always been like that.

Sometimes when i say something to my aunt,
she would misunderstand and a problem will be formed
thus ruining her mood and we'll quarrel.
And thats why nowadays, i keep everything to myself.
Im not gonna utter anything to anyone.

I dont mind getting depression.
As long as i dont hurt the others, im good.
This is the only platform where i could release some of my thoughts
without having anyone to listento me.
This platform has been my sole companion.

Now, let me just release those tormented tears in silence.

I bid you farewell.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:30 PM

Chasing one's dream is not easy.
Its totally soul draining,
i feel like dying.

Noone knows how im feeling right now.
Im so shagged, well, actually me & an.
We're so shagged we dont even feel like walking.

Please grant me my wish for i wish to be a student of bedok view sec
once again. But only for the math lesson.
As ille get to sit beside Mr lumpy Yeo, which is currently my boyfriend.
I miss you so damn much do you know?

my whole body's aching.
My left arm and right leg, both are cramped.

Does anyone have anything related to data entry?
Thank you

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:42 AM

This few days has been pretty hectic.
Work was exhausting yet interesting.
It drains the energy out of me physically and mentally at the same time.
It isnt easy when your dreams is to be a hairstylist.
Well, it does look simple but trust me, its that complex.

I cant wait to spend my all my time with baby again.
Noone knows how much i miss him.
I cant spend quality time with him that much nowadays
since work starts at 10am and ends at 8pm.
But im glad he could fetch me from work and thus, we could see each other.

Anyways, my body's failing.
Getting sick everytime, even im sick of it.


I miss you baby and i cant wait to spend my time with you again.
:\

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 7:39 PM

Its 1.55am and i would love to go outside my corridor,
take one of my flower pots and smash it on my neighbour's head.
Puncture his bicycle tires, fill it up with hydrogen,
take out his pedals and replace it with chicken wings.

Seriously, he should throw his bike away.
Making such loud noises with his bike everyday. Im sick of it.
My ears are tired.
I'm okay is its once or twice. But this has been going on for a long time now.
Fucking inconsiderate ingrate.
Everyone is trying to sleep. Where's your common sense at?
At the tip of your bunghole?
_|_


Im a patient person.
A very patient person.
I could keep my cool if things happen once or twice.
But please. Do not go overboard.
You do not want me to go overboard with you.

Ive had enough of this.
Stop or you'll experience a boot of your face.
You fucking piece of trash.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 1:54 AM

My Woman.

Mr Yeo, please stop scaring the shit out of me by just
talking to me from outside my window without me noticing you there.
Who knows, i might be the next MJ.
But the only thing is, i died because of someone causing my heart
to fail by scaring the shit out of me.

-.-"

My lighters kept disappearing.
Ive lost countless of lighters.
Who'd be so poor to even want to steal a lighter?
Hmm.

The weather's just too cold.
Freezing cold for me.

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 1:04 AM

First of all, im glad that it rained.
But it was just too cold for me.

Secondly, Me and An got a job.
We're gonna pursue our dreams of becoming a hairstylist.
We're NK's new hairstylist apprentices.
Im being posted at Whitesands while he, at Parkway Parade.

Anyways, certain people would have this mindset.
" Noone can be what he dreams to be in the future"
Well, i would have to disagree with that thought.

Ive always wanted to become a hairstylist since i was small.
My passion has got to do with hair. Dying, cutting etc.
Now ive been given this opportunity to live my dream
& im gonna make full use of it.
It doesnt matter if my pay is low, cuz thats what i want to be, and ive got
to start from scratch, do my best and go all the way to the top of the list.

Excited yet nervous at the same time.
But its all good.

Baby, thanks for accompanying me for the interview and
also giving me your support.
(:

Cheers to us both, (Me & Anuar)
for getting to live our dreams
& work hard! Nothing beats being a hairstylist.

^_^

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:49 AM

Happy 3rd monthsary sweetpea!
^_^
Look at how time passes by so quickly.
Known you for nearly 5 years and now we're in the 3rd month
of our relationship. (:

Anyways! Im sick.
Fever, flu and cough.
All the symptoms of H1N1. Thanks alot.
A trip to the doctor cost me, $50.50.
Wow. How expensive.

Plus plus, my aunt told me that the CNB came knocking
at my door when i wasnt home. -.-"
Im clean. Inside out. My records are clean.
Im anti junk.
I wonder why they came. Seriously.

That got my brain running for a while.

& you, youre such a loser.
"Find a new property, sell the old one "
Run along my child.

& to the other, change that attitude of yours.
Noone would stand that kind of attitude.

Im gonna go rest now.
Take care world.
<3>

Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:14 AM