'Tuesday, September 30, 2008} Y
I have this feeling.
A feeling that ive been feeling since just now but i cant explain it.
Its been playing with my mind & i find it hard to breathe.
Things seemed a little different now.
I find it hard to cope with the littlest things and im constantly in pain.
I would always look good/healthy etc; on the outside but actually,
im weak and im fighting against something that is tryna bring me down inside.
I dont know what it is, but whatever it is, i am not liking it.
Its not an illness but a feeling.
It really sucks not having to know why i have got this feeling.
It really feels like im not myself & neither im i feeling like i am where & what i used to be.
No, its different.
I dont want it to be even totally different when time passes.
I dont understand what ive been taking about.
I shall just end here now.
GoodBye.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:03 AM
'Sunday, September 28, 2008} Y
Why am i always forbidding you to go to certain places?
- There is a reason.
Why do i feel angry/pissed if you were to go out without me?
- There is a reason.
Why do i feel insecure without you by my side?
- There is a reason.
Why do i feel uncomfortable/unhappy when someone elses comes close to you?
- There is a reason.
Why must i have doubts if you were to ask me whether you would be able to go
somewhere without me?
- There is a reason.
Why do i feel left out like as if im a stranger after what happen ytd?
(The stranger hug & the song girl)
- There is a reason.
& the reason is that, i love you so much and i dont wanna let you go.
Yes, im selfish and im only thinking of myself and thats cuz
i dont wanna lose you. I cant even imagine you being my ex. Thats just so wrong.
You're already a part of me.
24/7, in my life, since January 2008 till now,
September 2008, we've been meeting up every single day, except for 3 days.
There's more, but i cant seem to put it in words.
All i can do is to express it to you.
9 Months is a very long time.
I wish for it to last till the end.
I Love You IRFNXS,
I Really Do.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 3:28 PM
'Thursday, September 25, 2008} Y
Happy birthday Irfnxs!
Ure a year older now! I hope you've enjoyed the day today.
I cant give you much cuz its not the worth that counts, its the thoughts.
Sorry if you didnt like what i gave you / what im gonna give you.
Went to Cathay with Irfnxs and we watched Disaster Movie!
Shites. The bestest movie ever. HAHAHA.
My mind's pretty blank now so i think imma go wash up & go to sleep.
I love you Irfnxs, I really do.
& once again, Happy birthday to you.
(:
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 12:26 AM
'Sunday, September 21, 2008} Y
Webcamed with Irfnxs just a while ago.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Crazy boy.
Granny just got home from Cameron highlands and she bought me a bag!
=D
Happy Happy.
Okay, granny wants to sleep so im going home now.
Chiao!
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 11:59 PM
'Wednesday, September 17, 2008} Y
Im gonna describe the Vegetable which is, Taugeh today.
To me, it is crunchy when fried.
Soft when boiled/soaked.
Tasteless when there's no seasoning added.
But overall, its nice.
Dont you think so?
Well, my Big sister Louis thinks differently.
When asked, Taugeh taste nice right?
And the answer i got was, Yea, its sweet what.
SWEET.
TAUGEH.
TAUGEH = SWEET.
Nice.
So that makes candy taste tasteless?
And i also i told him, Eh, i like the yong tau foo chilli that's stuffed with fish paste.
And then he replied, That one sweet what.
and he thought i was talking about the one which we have to dip in.
-.-
Louis louis.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 7:34 PM
'Tuesday, September 16, 2008} Y
I was excited when you called.
But only for a second. Cuz it didnt go as well as i imagined it to be.
Its okay, ille wait. Im patient but i dont know for how long more.
Its okay. Ive gots to understand.
:\
Ive got lots of things to say but i wont let a single word out
in fear that i would say something wrong & hurt ur feelings.
Been feeling down this week but i dont know why.
I just feel that it isnt the same anymore.
I mean, the quarells and all.
Ille just hope for the best.
Never been lonelier this week.
I feel as if im a lost soul on earth.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 6:55 PM
'Saturday, September 13, 2008} Y
What it do niggas?
Im at the XS Lab with Irfan. & im currently sleepy. -.-
I need my bed now.
I need my fan.
I need to SLEEP!
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.
I had enough meals today, like seriously.
I still have my Famous Amos cookies and Auntie Anne's pretzels.
Guess i have to finish it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.
Okay okay, im done. Im too tired to continue.
Im off.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 1:14 AM
'Thursday, September 11, 2008} Y
Im bored. I feel dead. My body's aching. & ive been eating alot since just now.
If i knew, i would have taken a nap instead of being awake infront
of my mac waiting for the time.
What should i do now?
Read a book?
Finish the melody?
Watch tvee?
Eat some junk?
Oh, granny just fed me a fishball.
(:
Hmm. so what should i do?
Shites. This sucks.
*runs around screaming and grabbing my hair like a maniac*
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 8:19 PM
'Saturday, September 06, 2008} Y
Drowning.
I wonder what death feels like.
Torture.
I wonder what torture feels like.
Agony.
I wonder what agony feels like.
Sadness.
I experience it everytime. Almost every single day.
Happiness.
I dont even know how it felt like already.
Pain.
It cuts me deeper than a cut.
Will anyone share the pain with me?
Or must i face this alone everytime?
Would anyone still be the pillar to my life to keep me standing tall?
Will there be any shoulder for me to rely on?
Will there be someone by me to lend a listening ear?
Would i find warmth in any arms?
Would anyone plant a kiss on my forehead when im asleep?
It all depends.
I believe in fate.
So whatever happens, i wont blame anyone.
Dark Blessings upon Thy. 3:52 PM
